Do you think Pat Boone was unfairly persecuted when he released his heavy metal cover album, or is there really “no innocent victim”?
I don’t know. I mean when anyone changes what they normally do, people are always there to say how much you suck and how the old way will always be the best, when all he was doing was just having some fun. That’s just the way I see things.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever found on your shmeckle?
SHMECKLE!

Without resorting to outside resources, please explain to me the difference between jelly, jam, and preserves.
Well, preserves is fruit mashed up and stored for a period of time. Jam is a little bit more processed but still has chunks of fruit. And jelly is all processed and has no chunks of fruit at all. I think that’s what it is.

Excellent! Gold stars for you! How many Pringles can you fit in your mouth and eat without spitting any out?
I know I could do at least ten. Maybe more but I think a little might fall out.

Pssh. Amateur. What comprises your Ultimate Burrito?
OK. What comprises the ultimate burrito is shredded beef, chicken and pork. Then smothered with four kinds of cheeses. That would be the ultimate. No need for lettuce or tomatoes or any of that other crap. That stuff is just filler.

No Innocent Victim has been eating too many ultimate burritos. Their new one is “Tipping the Scales” on Victory Records