March of the Wooden Soldiers: An American Classic Or Soon to be Horror Remake Classic?

Articles | Jan 26th, 2008

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I’m sure you all know the 1934 Laurel and Hardy classic flick, March of the Wooden Soldiers (or…also known as Babes in Toy land). And well, if you don’t…watch the trailer :

here or read about it on here.

Ever since I was little, my mom used to make me watch this movie. Not only EVERY time it came on television, but also every time she decided to take the stupid VHS out of our movie collection. And every time I did watch it, I was horrified. Recently, the more I thought about the movie, the more and more it made sense that it should be remade…into a brutal gore fest of a horror movie. I mean come on, watching parts of it makes me think I’m watching a Rob Zombie music video. (Which brings me to who I think should direct/write the remake…oh yes folks…Mr. Rob Zombie THAT’S who!). Wooden soldiers being beheaded, toys in Toy land almost being raped by Bogeymen, and wooden soldiers BATTLING.

There is even a scene with the Three Little Pigs being tortured and chained up by the movies villain, Barnaby. It’s truly a disturbing and dark movie…and people don’t even notice it. To everyone, it’s a holiday classic. To me, it’s the perfect base for one disturbingly brilliant horror movie. I think my next article will be my own personal script with these lovely ideas. Any thoughts? Anyone want to help? Let’s try and make THIS idea a reality.

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