Doc Hopper was legendary. Or at least pretty good. Honestly, I hadn’t noticed they broke up. But perhaps some people did notice and to fill that gaping void is The Groucho Marxists, who play that same delectable Bay Area pop-punk, this time by way of New Jersey. Doc Hopper and now Groucho Marxists frontman Christopher “Gobo” Pierce caught me at an angrily sober moment and I let him have it.
Hey, aren’t you the guy who was in Doc Hopper? What happened to Doc Hopper? Huh? Huh?!
Yup, that was me. Doc Hopper came to an end because I lived in Jersey, Greg the drummer still lived in Boston, and most people hated us at the time.
What does the Groucho Marxists have that Doc Hopper doesn’t?
Better songs with better execution.
You know, I don’t like your smarmy good looks or your oh-so-cool niceness. Who do you think you are??
Blame the bassist Gary for his smarmy good looks, and our other guitarist Brian has the oh-so-cool niceness about him. I’m just a prick. A prick in a band.
So the Groucho Marxists. Are they the real deal? Are they the only band that matters?
We are the real deal. We can play our songs reasonably well. We play shows to facilitate our collective drinking problem. And no band really matters, except BLACK FLAG.
You’ve got some nerve, buddy.
So I’ve been told. Hey, I’m not just another pretty face, but I do put out.
Actually, you guys are not so bad. How has Canadian power rock trio Rush influenced your sound?
Thanks, we try. I’d like to think of us as the music that the protagonist in 2112 made after he found the guitar, before the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx told him to destroy it. And the meek shall inherit the Earth.
What is your goal for the Groucho Marxists and what is your 12-step plan to make that goal a reality?
We just want to make great records and play shows with our friends. We all have real’ jobs so we won’t be gallivanting around the country like my last bands had done, but we will play the East Coast. It’s a labor of love at this point. Don’t do it if it ain’t fun. And I stay away from anything with 12 steps; its one of my irrational fears.
People laugh at me because I have a third nipple. What are some things about you that people mock?
I talk too fast. My head tilts to the left. I make obnoxious statements in public forums quite often. My new band sounds like my old band. I’m kind of a dick.
Do you think I’m angry because I’m unloved, or am I unloved because I’m angry?
You don’t seem angry. Would you like a hug? Perhaps a bong hit? I’d like a beer right about now.
Tell me a secret about each of your bandmates.
Gary is a modern-day Adonis mixed with Karl Alvarez. Austin raises horses and hunts people. Brian was actually stolen from the 1970’s via my time-machine. I like kittens. To eat, I mean.
You’re from New Jersey, right? List five odors you smell right now.
I live in New Jersey now, but I am certainly NOT FROM New Jersey. I am from Maine originally, and then I lived in Boston until 1996. But Jersey does have a weird Band-Aid-like scent in certain areas.
Punk band Harpo Mussolini said you’re a bunch of idea-stealing assholes. How do you respond?
Hey, we’ve stolen ideas from much more reputable people and bands, trust me. Have your people contact our people.
Analyze the last dream you remember and relate it to something in your past, resulting in a breakthrough revelation that will change your life.
I’m a new father. I don’t sleep enough to dream. In fact, sleep seems like a distant dream to me at this point. You get some wicked hallucinations when you are sleep deprived. Better than acid.
What is one, and only one, thing every person on the planet should know about the Groucho Marxists?
We like to play loud. Very loud. Probably too loud to play in your town. We have the loud police following us around to shows trying to get us to turn down, but it will never happen. The MAN will never turn us down.
Masturbation is to pleasure then shame, as your next release, MANIFESTO! is to______.
…aural ecstasy then public defecation. With your mom probably, since she said she likes us more than you.