Streetlight Manifesto (Tomas)

Interviews | Feb 24th, 2005

What is your name?
Tomas Kalnoky

What is your quest?
At the moment, my quest consists of trying desperately to be witty, clever and charming, therefore convincing the readers of your zine that someone with an even modest possession of these attributes is worth listening to. Some of these readers are bound to go out and buy our new Cd (because let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to listen to a band whose lead singer is witty, clever and charming?), thus keeping our label happy and funding our coke and hooker habits.

What…is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
(and you thought I was missing your Python references, byatch)

Why not name yourselves Catch 23?
Isn’t that already the name of a book or something?

But seriously, you guys play some good, peppy NJ-style skapunk. What is it with NJ and the skapunk?
Hasselhoff has Germany, we have New Jersey. Some geographic locations are inexplicably linked to certain types of music. Come on, you should know this.

Do you guys still speak to the current Catch 22 lineup? Or do you guys have some Shakespearean feud that will end in tragedy on both sides?
In the words of the great Walter Sobchak: “they’re stonewalling us, Dude” I’ve tried a few times to make the peace, but I guess it’s just not time yet.

Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny?
(shit, I can’t think of a clever response to this that isn’t a blatant cliché)

You guys sound young, but in the photo in your CD you guys look around 35 or so. Does living in NJ or playing skapunk prematurely age you?
Ouch. Jamie’s the only one not in his early 20’s, he’ll love that.

You guys are fast and spirited, and yet your tunes are like six minutes long. What’s up with that?
We get paid by the minute.

Bon Jovi or Bruce Springsteen?
Despite the rumors, I like girls. But I’m sure they’re both very nice young men.

NJ has more toxic waste dumps than any other state (108). How has that affected your music?
Remember that scene in Robocop where that guy fell into the toxic waste and survived, only he was all but melting as he stumbled around? Then he finds his way onto a road, still melting (one eyeball hanging about an inch above his chin) and Clarence Bodikker is speeding towards him in Robocop’s car. He’s all “Clarence, Clarence, you gotta help me, HELP ME” and what does Bodikker do? Runs the fucker over, literally turning him to paste with the impact. THEN (in a move of inspired comedic genius) he flips the windshield wipers on to wipe his now-liquid friend off the windshield so he can see. That’s fucked up, man. Not sure if that answers your question, but that was fucked up.

I have to say, for a small area densely populated by unbelievably shitty skapunk bands, Catch 22 and Streetlight Manifesto have really done some good stuff. Actually, you’re the only ones who have done good stuff. Why do you guys rock and all the other b
Let me get this straight: Interviewer: Why are you guys so good? Artist: Oh, I think it may have to do with blahblahblahblah etc etc Interviewer: Ok, thanks Headline: CONCEITED BAND PHILOSOPHIZES ABOUT HOW GREAT THEY ARE (I’m not falling for your little zine trickery Mr Bryan Kremkau, if that’s even your real name)

Thanks for doing this interview, any final comments or anything to plug?
One time, after a show a few years back, we were being interviewed by a local zine. Their last question was “Do you want to plug anyone?” and I said “No, but I’m about to go home and plug my girlfriend”. After the zine came out, my girl found a copy in my room and was pretty pissed. Eventually she got over it and saw the humor. In conclusion, I’ve learned to never plug anyone publicly, as you run the risk of upsetting them.

Check out Streetlight Manifesto’s website: http://www.streetlightmanifesto.com/ and buy their new CD “Everything Goes Numb” now!

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