Date: 2001?
Venue: The Gotham Comedy Club, NYC

I’m starting to go to a lot of comedy shows now, but I’ve haven’t been heckled yet, until this show. When my friends and I got to the club, we went inside to make sure we got seats and the lady gave us front row seats. I thought it would be cool to sit up front. We got seated finally, and the club was super packed. It would probably be ten times more crowded if the show was promoted on The Opie and Anthony show. I was bored while waiting for the MC to come on stage so I decided to entertain myself and friends with my cartoons on a napkin.

Finally the MC for the night came on, and immediately started to talk to me. “So you got a girlfriend” said the MC. No..I said. Then he looked at my napkin filled with Simpson style cartoon heads and said “that’s why you’re not getting laid, you’re drawing cartoons on napkins!!” Everybody at the club was laughing at the me, and I immediately try to defend myself. I screamed out “I was bored!!! I’m a cartoonist!” The comic made fun of me some more and gave back the napkin. He said they were good drawings though so that was cool of him. It wasn’t cool of him to tool on me for the rest of his set..haha! It seemed anything I said, would come out wrong or just make myself look more pathetic. Like he asked me if I was old enough to drink, I Said” no”, do I have a girlfriend, “no”, do you have a job, “no.” I told him I just got out of school, and was still living with my parents and I was shy. He said I need to get drunk and go party to get laid.

During this time, I was bright red, but laughing at it all because..well it was funny. I gave him material. But no, it’s not over yet. He asked if what the hell do I do all summer and I said I go to the beach, and he made fun of me some more because I didn’t drink at all. He finally tried to make fun of some other people for a change but that didn’t work when they weren’t listening to him. So he went back to me some more. GOODIE! He asked if I go to the dentist at all, and I said he died. The place broke out laughing at that one. So at least I was getting some laughs, but not necessarily laughing with me. After his set was done, he came over to me again, and said he felt sorry for picking on me. I screamed out, “it’s okay, I’m used to it,” and all the females went ooouuuhhhhhh. The MC said, I know what you’re doing, you’re going for the sympathy card. I screamed out YEAH! So I guess it was my time in the barrel because I got made fun of for about 20 minutes of a comedians set. I’m not mad or anything at it, because I thought it was really funny that I got made fun of in front of 150 people. I was thinking to myself, I hope every comic here doesn’t do their whole set making fun of me, because it will be a long night.

Finally the second comedian came on. I think his name was Justin something. He was really funny. He was a cop in Maine for 5 years and did a great bit on that, plus a bit on his father. The third comedian for the night was Jim Florentine, and he’s been on O & A sometimes. It seemed his jokes didn’t make the audience laugh too much but I thought some of jokes were good. After him was Mike Dinocola(?) which I’ve heard on O & A a lot as well. He did a couple of great bits, and seemed to be the crowd favorite besides Stephen Lynch. That was who everyone, and including myself was there to see. If you never heard of him before, he’s a comedian that sings really demented shit, but in a soft voice while playing the acoustic guitar. I first heard him on Opie and Anthony as well. He’s also got a really funny Comedy Central Presents that aired this winter. That’s why O and A rock because they always have the small time comedians on. Stephen Lynch played a lot of new songs, but he also played some of his best songs like “Superhero,” “Special Olympics” and “Lullaby.” He brought his friend Mark on stage, and he introduced the crowd to a couple of new songs. One was called something “Fuck Your Sister.” The whole night was great and if you ever have a chance to see Stephen Lynch perform, go because it’s a good time. You also might be able to get mad fun of too!