War of the Worlds

Movie Reviews | Jul 29th, 2005

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Starring Crazy Cruise, South Dakota Fanning, Timmy Boy Robbins, a bunch of Aliens that turn people into dust
Written By: Joshie Poo Friedman
Directed By: Stevie Spielberg
Well, from the previews, the movie looked like it was going to be fun but it ended up being a giant snooze fest for me. It was certainly a disappointment.

War of the Worlds is based off a HG Wells novel and from what I can gather, the movie is similar to the book. Which I would think, they would’ve updated it a little and maybe have Earth get blown up this time. But no, the aliens die of gum disease or some stupid shit like that.

The film focuses around Looney Bin Cruise’s character Ray Ferrier and his family. The shithead Father that he is, has to watch over the rugrats that weekend. You already pick up from the first 5 mins of the movie that he’s a deadbeat and not a very good father. He has an older son who’s in his rebellious stages and wears a Boston Red Sox hat to piss him off, since he’s a Yankee fan. He also has a daughter who’s beyond annoying. If there was one character I wanted to wish death on, it was her. She kept asking questions over and over and screeching & crying the whole movie. Like shut the fuck up already you little brat or Daddy’s gonna put you in time out with the aliens. Ugh I hated her in this movie. But as the alien invasion happens, Ray and his kids basically have the only working car in the northeast (yeah sure) and end up taking it to Boston to find his ex-wife/their mother. But no, she was sitting home the whole time, sipping some tea with her parents and sitting by the fire as Ray almost died repeatedly trying to see her. Just remembering this movie makes me hate it even more. So many stupid scenes and so many stupid characters.

Though I will give the film some credit, that it started out good and by the half way point, just got boring! Seeing the alien invasion & seeing people getting disintegrated was very cool! Of course, everybody had to be Mr. Curious and ended up dead. Good going humans. I thought the way people dealt with the invasion in the movie was realistic. I always think to myself, how and where would I go if there was a zombie/alien invasion or something like that. My initial reaction is to go upstate in the mountains and or down in the sewers and hang out with the mole people, but these schmucks end up going to Boston where the aliens are. Probably because they are Yankee fans themselves and hated them for winning the World Series. Along the way, the family discover a bunch of people trying to get somewhere and most of them end up dead. It was scary to see people kill to get into a car though. But as the movie went along, I just got more bored with it.

The movie did have occasional intense or scary moment but other than that, I kept looking at my watch. Maybe my movie experience was hindered because some jock asshole was sitting next me and hanging over my space. At the end of the movie, he was shaking his legs and hitting me; I finally had to tell the idiot “LOOK, COULD YOU FUCKING STOP!” That shut him right up and he didn’t touch me again. I’m such a bad ass. But yeah, back to the movie. War of the Worlds started out good but then to went to boresville. I’d recommend renting the movie but I don’t even think it’s buyable. But I’d rather watch Randy Quaid fly a Cropdusting plane into a space ship then see this movie again.

Favorite Scenes: the credits
Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 116 minutes
Overall Rating:


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